Hannah spends hours playing the electronic organ in her room. It is a welcome distraction from her loneliness.
Hannah, in her fifties, has never been married, and she has been living with her elderly father for years since she chose to give up her career as a result of severe depression. Soon after quitting her stressful job, she began to feel better, but she still keeps to herself most of the time.
There was a fig tree in front of the house where I lived in my childhood. In summer, I would volunteer to harvest the fruit. I put the figs in a bowl, and took it to the kitchen. Then I watched my mother make jam, which was tasty.
When I was sixteen, my parents had the tree cut down so that they could have a new house built. I miss the tree, and the homemade jam.
They say one should avoid making life-changing decisions while he is suffering from severe depression, but I cannot put it off any more. The sick leave is expiring though I haven't fully recovered yet, and the alternative is returning to work or giving up my career for good.
I had believed I was cut out to be a teacher, and I worked enthusiastically, until depression began to haunt me. I don't want to quit my dream job, which is worthwhile and rewarding, and I will be able to make a contribution if... when I get well. My head is telling me not to give up, but my heart is crying that I have had enough of debilitating depression, which may have been caused by work-related stress, though I am reluctant to admit it. I am drowning in a cascade of what-if questions and worst-case scenarios.
